I went to Cedar Point for the first time this year, and let me tell you, it is *terrifying*.

Yeah, that was pretty much me on the left...

There I'd be sitting in the ride, buckled up and ready to go, when suddenly I'd realize "Oh my gosh, I DON'T want to do this"and mentally start panicking...but by then the ride has started and the only way to get off is to sit it through.   This happened pretty much every time if you're not counting the one kiddie ride I went on, well, just for the sake of doing it :)

Looking back (it's so much easier to philosophize when your stomach is not 30 ft behind the rest of you) I realize this is kind of my take at life too.  I sometimes catch myself wishing I had never  been born, because then I wouldn't have to face the knowledge of an eternal fire if I screw up somewhere along the line of life.  (quick disclaimer before I receive an onslaught of concerned and well-meaning parents and friends to comfort me, I'm not contemplating suicide at all in the very least) it's just the that the idea of an eternal anything, good or bad is sorta terrifying.

The good news is, we don't have to rely on our own scant and, albeit, pretty pathetic resources to settle our eternal well-being, but instead have an omniscient, omnipotent, all-loving God who is capable and willing to do so.  It's like the original no-strings-attached deals...ask him into your heart, pray for guidance, and in return He brings you to a reward greater than we can imagine.  Sounds good to me.  

More than you Know

As terrible as it sounds, I had no idea today was that day. I've been thinking about our conversations, and the frailty of the lives we live, especially this past week more than ever, but I didn't realize it had already been a year.  Oh yes, I've missed you so much it hurts to breathe, and every time I realize you're not there I want to cry, but the actual date...that escaped me.

12 months ago today, I had a awareness check that brought reality crashing down around me: my best guy friend and "big brother" died,  leaving an array of friends and family in mourning. I remember going to his funeral and seeing the outrageous amounts of people that had gathered: hundreds came throughout the day, and let me tell you, while Peter may not have known all of them, there wasn't a single one who he hadn't touched with his testimony of Christ, loving each and everyone he met with an unconditional love.

If anything, in the eight years that I knew him, Peter tough me not to let prejudice, age, looks, anything get in the way of Christ's love.  I remember the day we met, my 6th? 7th birthday? He could have easily looked down on me when I first met him:shy, awkward, and nearly ten years younger than him, but instead he saw a girl blessed by God, though more than a little unsure of herself.  I'll never forget all those years you'd come over to our house every Sunday...swing dancing, "3 second tag" bake-fests, days when we were all so tired we just sat around and talked.  Those will always be some of my favorite memories, especially or late night talks interspersed with runs to Kroger where we got our favorite sustenance to power such "deep" conversations :)

Know that you will be missed, but more than that, know that you have touched so many many lives, spreading the love of Christ with your loving heart and beautiful smile. Also...I think I saw a studly man hiding in your car so you better had watch out :)